Take it Away
by SweeTarts151
Summary: The pain settles in their chests and they find something that could make it go away. At least for a little while. (Raven x Clarke)


**Take it Away **

**Chapter One**

**Disclaimer****: I own nothing mentioned in this story.**

The first time it happens Raven is drunk. They'd gotten everyone out of Mount Weather and there is a celebration. Grounders are chanting in the back ground. Drums are being beat and the people of the arc are dancing. Monty and Harper sit close together, Bellamy leaning against the log beside them. Bruises cover them. Fresh gauze and hardened eyes. Every few second Harper will mumble home. Monty reaches for his chest and Bellamy's hands shake but they are alive and they are here and that is all that matters right now. Lincoln shakes and quivers as he drinks tea he made. His muscles are tight and there is a small needle mark in his neck. Octavia moves from leaning into Lincoln's side to hugging Bellamy. Flitting between the two in perfect synchronization for when one needs her.

Commander Lexa sits by the fire, eyes staring into the depths of it as her people shout around her. Whole villages had come to retrieve their people, bringing food and alcohol and new weapons for the people who had knocked the mountain to it's knees. They celebrate to and the pole where Finn had died is gone, replaced by a buffet table of food and alcohol. No time is wasted and drunk sky and ground people move about the space.

Clarke can't seem to find herself to care that they were out. It felt like everything was underwater. The moment she sent Finn's ghost away everything went away. She sent her best friend into a mountain and he trembles and shakes. He refuses to bathe when Abby tried to get him in a bath. His eyes are haunted by demons and Clarke knows she helped put them there. Her heart wants to ache but it's shut off. Finding solution in Lexa's words. Love was weakness. She saw the haunted look in her pale blue eyes. The girl, Costia, Lexa had loved her. Probably more than she had ever loved anyone and her position of power got her killed. Clarke couldn't bring herself to feel the same anger and despair Lexa showed in her eyes.

Hers was a despair of watching the boy you once knew and almost loved turn into a man you couldn't recognize. Her pain was from having to kill one of her friends. Drive knife through his heart and give him last words she knew were once true. She had loved him. Once upon a time when the grounder's weren't a constant threat, when Raven wasn't known. When everything had been easy. But they both grew up. The war made them grow. He changed and she became more yet less. She had loved him once upon a time, but when she kissed him it had felt like remorse, sadness. Loss. How could she not love him? He was one of her friends yet he wasn't. The love wasn't right. How could she love a monster? Even feel an ounce of love for him. But she lied. In that moment she had loved him, just not in the way he needed to be loved. If she had loved him like she was suppose to she wouldn't have driven the knife through his chest. She would have fought to save him. But her love was wrong. Destructive and consuming. Her love for her people had overridden Finn's. She will in every turn and every game choose her people. That's why she couldn't love anymore. Couldn't see that desperation in their eyes. The pain of knowing they were second.

She way like Lexa in that bit. People come first, everyone else second. That was the way to lead. But right here, with Raven cornering her in one of the grounder's tents. The one far off in the corner Clarke had tried to escape through, she found she didn't' care. If Raven wanted to hit her. Let her. Her heart ached but she ignored it. Maybe a few bruises would take her mind off of it. With no orders or desperate need to save her people looming over her head, the ache had come back.

Raven's eyes are dark, dangerous and full of tears. The sweetness of the alcohol a village had brought mixes with the harshness of Monty's moonshine. Dark eyes stare into Clarke, full of so much emotion Clarke wants her to close them. Stop staring at her like that and making her heart drop in pain and guilt. She had shut it off for a reason. "I want to feel something other than this pain in my chest." Her voice is hard, broken. BRown eyes glassy with tears. "You put it here." She takes a swift drink from the bottle in her hand, before pointing harshly at Clarke. "You put this pain in my chest. Take it away."

Raven lurches forward and the blonde almost stumbles back but she closes her eyes and waits for the pain. Waits to feel Raven's fist to strike her face like it had so many nights ago. There is a warmth on her lips and suddenly she can taste the alcohol Raven had consumed. The older girls arms are fisted in Clarke's jacket. She kisses fiercely, angrily. Lips and teeth unforgiving. Clarke kisses back at first, instinctively before she pulls back. "Raven, you're not thinking. You do-"

"Don't tell me what I want. I want to not think. I want to feel something other than this pain in my chest." Lips clash into hers again and Clarke lets Raven take control before she grips the mechanics hair pulling her deeper into the kiss. It's all teeth and anger and pain. Maybe Raven needed to shut off her emotions to, and if this was the way to do iy, Clarke wasn't arguing. It felt relieving to actually be in some control of something. To feel something other than this pain in her heart and stomach that she pushes down and down since talking with Lexa. Raven's teeth are harsh against her throat as the girl rips her lips away and licks and bites her way down Clarke's throat.

The blonde moans and slips one of her hands to Raven's hip, pulling her closer. Their bodies bump and Raven pulls back, staring at the blonde with half lidded eyes. Second pass and then they are at each other again. Tan hands are ripping the blue jacket off of pale shoulders. Shoving thin cotton up and out of the way. Clarke pulls at Raven's own red jacket, throwing it to the ground as Raven's teeth dig into her bottom lip. Hisses as she tast copper before she's ripping Raven's shirt up and over her head. The second the soft worn material is over her head their lips meet again. Pale hands are tangled in dark pony tail as she pushes back against the mechanic until Raven's tipping backwards over the pile of furs meant to be a bed.

She lands with a grunt, a full weight of a shirtless blonde on top of her as Raven shoves her self up on her elbow, weaving one hand around to jank at Clarke's hair and expose the girls throat as her arm burns in the process. Cuts stinging against the use. Raven bites and licks. Leaving bruises and showing no mercy. The bottom of her stomach is finally warm with something other than guilt as Raven's teeth bruise it into the back of her mind. Pale finger grip thin sides, fingers curling over stitches. Raven hisses but pulls the blonde into another angry kiss, flipping them over until Clarke is the one on bottom. The blonde goes easily enough, letting the mechanic take control and Raven's demons are finally shoved to the back of her mind as she rips Clarke's bra of and attacks her nipples. There is no other word for it. This is primal. Angry. It's hate. Pain. It is raw and it's everything Clarke and Raven need right now.

Pale back arches off the pile of furs and a low moan sounds. Pale fingers scrabble across tn skin before Raven's own bra joins Clarke's somewhere in the tent. Deft fingers, used to working on small machinery and large, flick the button of Clarke jean's open. They're half way down Clarke's legs, pooling at her ankles when Raven shoves her fingers into her. Clarke grunts, burying her teeth into Raven's shoulder in retaliation. The girl flinches at the unexpected pain but presses into Clarke harder, quicker.

Clarke moves her hands until they are working on the button of Raven's jeans. She's shoving them down Raven's thigh when they catch in the brace. Raven grunts in annoyance but Clarke kisses the girl forcefully, distracting her as her hands get to work undoing the brace. It falls away and Raven tumbles forward, her teeth catch on Clarke's lips and then fingers pull inside of Clarke. The blonde winces at the small twinge of pain. "What the fuck?!" Raven shouts out eyes ful of anger.

Clarke just shoves the brace away and tugs the jeans down. Pulling Raven's left leg until it is on her knee. The mechanic trembles in anger. She can't feel her knee pressing into the ground but she can feel Clarke's fingers brushing her thigh. "Just shut up and go with it." Blue eyes are dark, and almost black eyes stare back defiantly. Angrily. They stare at each other, a battle of will before Clarke's fingers brush over the apex of Raven thigh. The mechanic groans and shoves against the blonde, fingers grabbing at her shoulder, pushing until she rest on top of their leader. Blonde hair fanned out behind and Raven's chest heaves before she's plunging forward.

Teeth click together as their lips meet. Hand tug and pull, seeking to cause instant pleasure. Anything thats not that feeling in their chest. Clarke slips fingers into wet heat, groaning as Raven own fingers dive into her. They push and stretch, bringing each other closer and closer to the edge. Raven moans lowly as she feels her stomach tightening. Her breathes come in pants and below her Clarke's chest heaves and her hips push off the fur, seeking more until she tumbles over the edge. Raven follows soon after, rolling off the blonde. Her thigh quivers and aches but she doesn't feel the pain in her chest. Not until her breathing slows and she turns. Dark brown connect with blue and she can see the same thing. Everything rushing back and suddenly Clarke is on top of her. Kissing her like Raven knows how to chase the demons away. And Raven hopes Clarke knows how to.


End file.
